Rebecca Smith
How To Talk To An Alcoholic Parent – Being the child of alcoholic parents is horrible. It’s hard to watch someone you trust and love act out of control because of their drink. Many children of alcoholic parents do not know how to communicate with their mother or father, they are isolated, scared and confused.
No one is responsible for other people’s drinking problems. The problem is not just alcoholic parents, but children often wonder and blame what they did to make their mother or father drink so much. Children of alcoholics have constant fear and anxiety. Even if one parent develops an alcohol use disorder later in life, it can still be stressful for children as adults.
How To Talk To An Alcoholic Parent
You can’t force someone to change, but you can point out that they have a problem. It can be scary for kids to talk about their parents’ drinking problems. There is a fear that they will get mad at you or start drinking again. However, unless the abuse is a legitimate issue, the benefits of open discussion are likely to outweigh the risks. Some parents may not realize how alcohol use affects their children.
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Focus the conversation around the fact that they may have difficulties and that you are concerned. Don’t start a conversation when both parents are drunk, try to find time for an honest one-on-one conversation. Tell them that you care because you care about their well-being.
Adjust your perspective by using “I” statements like “I’m worried about how much you drink” or “I’m worried that your health is at risk.” Avoid words like “you drink too much” or “you have a problem.”
This will help you make a list of the behaviors they exhibited and how those behaviors affected you. Try to avoid judgment by telling them how their behavior makes you feel. Hold on to your emotions, defend your parents and try not to get attacked. This can be hard to do because you can blame your parents for a lot of the emotions and the damage they have caused. But if you can tell your parents that you want to help them and love them instead of blaming them, you may have a better chance of helping them understand that they need help.
After the conversation, your parents may still be in denial that they need help with their drinking. You can talk to friends and family about your parents’ drinking, or seek the services of a professional interventionist or health professional to help parents understand that they need to change.
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Even if your parents are not in treatment, there is still a chance that you are the child of an alcoholic parent. You can improve your health and emotional well-being and learn to set healthy boundaries with your alcoholic parent. Family support groups and resources can help you, your siblings, or other family members heal and cope with the grief of an alcoholic parent.
In addition to helping people with alcohol addiction, Baystate Recovery Services offers counseling and family support services. We can introduce you to alcoholic parents and advise you on how to help you and them recover after treatment. Contact us today for a free and confidential estimate. In addition to harm to the mother, such as the effects of alcohol on the body, alcohol intoxication, and excessive drinking, the mother risks contributing to her child’s behavioral, social, psychological, and physical problems.
Seeking help for an alcohol use disorder is the first step in preventing these problems and ending alcohol use and addiction.
Children of mothers: The consequences of fathers with alcohol use disorder (AUD) persist into adulthood. Growing up with a parent with an alcohol disorder can present some of the following risks for a child:
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Risk of abuse and neglect: Studies have shown that parental alcohol abuse increases the risk of child abuse, especially physical and sexual abuse.
Children also face the risk of abandonment; A mother who drinks alcohol cannot take care of her child in all areas of life.
Risk of behavioral, psychological and emotional problems: Children of mothers with alcohol use disorders may not be well adjusted and, as a result, tend to internalize their problems. This can manifest itself in a variety of ways, such as interpersonal problems, depression, anxiety, and depression. Internal problems affect the inner world and the experience of the child. They can also externalize and exteriorize their problems, which can manifest as: developing conduct disorders, blaming others, aggressive behavior or hyperactivity. Externalizing problems can manifest as crime, anger, aggression, and legal problems, and in turn, these externalizing effects can affect other members of the community and can be considered a public health problem.
Risk of poor maternal relationships: A study found that mothers who drink alcohol use harsh forms of punishment and have less closeness, control, and positive involvement with their children. Another study found that alcoholic mothers were less sensitive and less connected to their babies.
Alcoholic Parents: How Children Are Affected
There is a risk of poor academic performance. Alcoholic mothers have a negative effect on children’s school performance. These children may have relatively poor reading, spelling, and math skills in elementary and secondary school.
The danger of drug abuse. Children born to mothers with alcohol use disorders in late childhood and adolescence are at increased risk of experiencing or abusing any substance. Children of alcoholic mothers start drinking earlier than their peers and increase their consumption more quickly.
There is a risk of deterioration of physical health. A study of elementary and high school children of alcoholic parents showed that they exercised less and had worse eating habits than children without parents with alcohol use disorders.
Mothers who have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol or who have alcohol-related disorders are less able to meet their children’s physical needs. Therefore, the effect of alcohol on the body can be indirect. Studies have shown that children of alcoholic mothers are more prone to physical health problems; One study found increased sleep problems, increased use of medications for various conditions, and more reports of inflammatory conditions.
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There is a risk of physical health problems. Many studies have shown that the adult children of alcohol abusers (ACoAs) are at increased risk of physical health problems, including back pain, high blood pressure, diabetes, sleep disturbances, fatigue, delirium, gastrointestinal problems, cirrhosis of the liver, cancer, bleeding, heart disease, headaches, and high blood pressure.
The danger of drug abuse and addiction. Adult children of alcoholic mothers are at increased risk of abusing alcohol and other substances. Genetics account for 50 to 60 percent of a person’s risk of addiction; In one study, 53 percent of children whose parents were alcoholics developed alcohol or drug use disorders at a young age, compared to 25 percent of their peers.
Children Fear Their Drunken Parents
There is a risk of behavioral, emotional and psychological problems. ACoA has a high rate of mood disorders. One study found that children of alcoholic parents are almost twice as likely to experience depression than their peers.
ACoAs are more likely to have adjustment problems and difficulty learning healthy coping skills. Research shows that these children tend to be perfectionists, hypervigilant, deny their own needs, take on too much responsibility, and mistrust others.
One study found higher rates of phobias, including agoraphobia, major depressive disorder (dysthymia), generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and antisocial symptoms, in children of adult alcoholics.
Risk of ACoA syndrome. ACoA syndrome was coined by a researcher in the mid-1980s to describe a common ACoA disorder. The symptoms often occur in a sequence, with many experiencing poor coping skills, fear of abandonment, intimacy, change, and making mistakes. Other symptoms of ACoA syndrome include chronic anxiety (constant fear) and feelings of inadequacy.
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Treatment for an alcohol use disorder can help you take responsibility for your health and the health of your child. Appropriately addressing your personal and parenting needs is an important focus of your treatment. You should discuss these concerns and needs with a rehabilitator. Many women who abuse substances have co-occurring disorders, such as depression or PTSD, so treatment must address these issues.
If you have a mother struggling with alcohol use disorder, it’s natural to want to help her, but you don’t know where to start. It is important to remember that it is not your fault.
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