How To Deal With Narcissistic Mother In Law – The hidden part means that they are usually under the radar for most people, but not for the people who live with them.
Sons and daughters of covert narcissistic mothers often do not realize how much their mother’s “parenting style” is costing them.
How To Deal With Narcissistic Mother In Law
It is not uncommon for you to have complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) due to your mother’s narcissistic behavior.
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If you’re not sure if your mom is a covert narcissist, here are some obvious signs to look for.
When you do, say, or wear the right thing (i.e., what he wants), he beams with pride and self-satisfaction.
He sees you as an extension of his ego, so he’ll be happy to praise you whenever you do what he wants.
If you do something, say something, or wear something he doesn’t like, he will pick on you openly and publicly because he takes it personally.
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Each of his gifts has a string. And if he wants to give it back, he’ll ask for it or just take it from you and state that you don’t use it anyway or never value it.
If you give him something he didn’t ask for, he’ll likely reject it or pretend to accept it graciously, but get rid of it later.
No matter how well or tactfully worded, any criticism is an attack, and he responds vehemently or scapegoats to make the critic appear or feel like a monster that needs to be “beaten”.
How do you question his decisions or motives when he just wants to make his family happy?
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Everything in your life is about him. It needs to know everything and access everything you do.
Only when it is convenient is at your disposal. But if you don’t rush towards her when she asks, she will be upset.
As a human extension of his ego, you will always be there to make him look good and feel good about himself. Your growing need for independence will feel like rejection to her.
Whether your situation involves a narcissistic mother and son (or daughter) or an overtly narcissistic mother-in-law, you need to understand how this dynamic can affect you.
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Whether you continue with him or not is up to you (and you alone). Because you don’t have to
The more you learn about the effects of narcissistic parents on your children, the easier it will be to understand how your mother’s narcissism affected you. From there you can take steps to free yourself from its influence.
An emotional response will play into his hands. If he is silent, he is using your lack of control over your emotions against you. This is why many people who grew up with highly narcissistic mothers learn to keep their emotions in check.
If he can get you to take a picture, he’ll play the victim and ride the wave while it lasts.
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The better you understand what’s going on in your mother’s mind and heart, the easier it will be to know how to respond in the kindest and most effective way.
Kindness does not mean “beautiful”. Don’t let it get in the way. You just try to see things from his point of view (even though you know he won’t reciprocate).
Does not mean anything. Even if your argument is correct and his is not, he will not see it. And in the end you get nothing. He will not respect any opinion but his own.
If you don’t think like him, your thoughts are automatically repugnant to him. You can’t win. For him, the cost of admitting (or even admitting) failure is too high.
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You don’t need him to agree with you. You don’t even have to let him tell you (he won’t listen anyway). Once you make up your mind, you just have to stick to it.
However, he blames you for everything, and no matter how passionately he tries to convince you that he knows best, stand your ground.
Personalize your mother’s behavior to differentiate it from your own. Everything he does comes from him. It is not about you at all.
The way he treats you and the things he says all come from his inflated but very fragile ego. You have the right to love anyone else and find happiness.
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Or at least buy some time by answering one of his requests: “I don’t know… let me think” or “Not a good time. I will answer you.”
Growing up with a narcissistic mother affects your self-confidence and self-esteem. It’s time to recreate or create something you’ve never had.
To get started, try the assertiveness exercises in this post to help you find and build confidence.
If he asks you out, tell him you want to, but if the conversation turns to yelling, criticism, or bullying, walk away before he can blame you for it.
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When you grow up with narcissistic parents, it’s understandable that you’ll pick up some of your narcissistic behaviors.
You can’t have boundaries with him because he doesn’t respect them. And it may be difficult for you to express your feelings because you know he will use them against you.
This person can be a therapist, but it can also be in the form of a support group or friends who understand what you’ve been through.
If possible, talk to a professional therapist who can help you sort things out and learn to finally let go.
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Even if you’re better equipped to recognize if your mom is a covert narcissist, it doesn’t make it any easier to understand. But naming what you’ve dealt with in your life can help you move past the trauma that’s been created and heal you.
It’s also important to remember that your mother’s hidden narcissism does not make her evil. Narcissism is a disorder. And it is up to him to treat it. We use technologies such as cookies to store and/or access device information. We do this to improve your browsing experience and show you personalized ads. Consenting to these technologies allows us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique identifiers on this site. Failure to consent or withdrawal of consent may adversely affect certain features and functionality.
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Toxic Traits Of A Narcissistic Mother In Law (tips For Dealing)
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