How To Deal With A Controlling Mother In Law – After marriage, some women may have difficulty adjusting to a new family. If your mother-in-law is strict with you and disapproves of everything you do, you may be thinking, “Do I hate my mother-in-law?” The answer is that the mother is the most important person in any family, and if she doesn’t believe you are a good fit for her child and family, she may begin to show anger and hurt towards you. So maybe you have a feeling of hatred towards him.
But if two women in a family are not related, it can create difficult situations and even cause negative events.
How To Deal With A Controlling Mother In Law
If you’re looking for reasons to hate your mother-in-law, read on. You might find some solutions along the way.
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Your mother-in-law doesn’t love you, and you might be thinking that in your head. Let’s look at the reasons why you can’t date him.
Has your mother-in-law criticized your cooking skills? Does he disapprove of your behavior? Has he ever corrected your behavior in public? If you are always beaten for everything you do, it is natural for you to resent yourself and resent unfair criticism. There can be two reasons – either you are doing something different from him, intentionally or unintentionally, or because of your mother-in-law.
If he decides where your family lives, what school your children go to, or where you go on vacation, it shows that he is trying to control everything in your family. It might make him angry. You can resend him access to your personal data. Differences can arise if you come from a different culture and do something he is unfamiliar with. Also, every family has specific rules, and if you don’t follow them and point out flaws or things you don’t like, your mother-in-law might not like it.
It is normal to have some differences in a new family due to lifestyle changes. And if your mother-in-law has been making decisions in the family for a long time, it means that you should follow in her footsteps. Do everything you can to fix it. Don’t leave without trying.
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His fatherless advice may irritate you. He may think he knows more about raising children than you do. As a parent, you understand what is best for your child and you want to raise him in a certain way and not blindly follow your mother-in-law. If your parenting style is different from hers, you may find her lessons uncomfortable. You can ignore his good advice.
Your child is sick and he accuses you of being an irresponsible parent. Your husband has some problems and blames you for not taking care of them. According to your mother-in-law, everything your family is facing is because of you. It doesn’t matter if you are not remotely connected to any fun event. If he blames and criticizes you, regardless of whether it is your fault or not, your relationship with him will be affected by the chills.
Blaming you for everything that goes wrong and taking credit for everything that goes wrong is scapegoating in its negativity. Therefore, you better keep a safe distance from him because he doesn’t like you and will disappoint you every time.
You and your partner may have financial problems before you start a family. But your mother-in-law wants to see her grandson soon. If it bothers you to know your thoughts or problems, you can ignore his unreasonable demands and dislike him.
How To Deal With A Controlling Parent
Mother-in-law can always remind you of your flaws and most of the time you can put up with her without complaining. But sometimes you lose patience and speak again. He can tell others from his mind what happened, pretending to be himself. Some people like to play the damaged card without meaning to, just to catch love. Such things can lead to misunderstandings and make you angry with your mother-in-law.
It is possible that you are from a different background and the difference in lifestyle is the reason why he cannot accept you as part of his family. If he mocks you and tries to make you feel different in different ways, he can hurt you, make you hate him, and fill you with anger.
To bond with your mother-in-law, you can take her shopping and help her find a beautiful dress. But whatever clothes you choose, he refuses for no reason. Likewise, at family events, when you offer food, he may decline. When your mother-in-law keeps putting down your feelings, you start to hate her and even loathe her.
Does your mother-in-law try to raise her children even though you can’t? Does he juggle his chores and house cleaning and belittle your efforts, making you look like an incompetent parent? If so, you may not be able to convince yourself to accept and love him. However, if your mother-in-law is right that you should do it yourself, it is better to accept and understand that she is not a bad person, but she is trying to help you.
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Does your mother-in-law say things about your appearance and the way you dress just to make fun of you? Does he ask you to dress up or dress differently? If he refuses to point out your flaws, the antagonism can affect your self-esteem and self-confidence, leaving you with his negativity.
He won’t talk to you at any family gathering? If so, there are probably two reasons. They try to treat guests and pay attention to them, or give you the cold shoulder. If it’s the first reason, it’s common to feel isolated, which can add to the animosity between the two of you. If it’s true that he’s trying to play nice, be careful not to take it personally.
Your mother-in-law keeps telling you how she found a good match for your husband. Sometimes it doesn’t have to be a comparison, but just a “story” to tell. And you can’t help but think. On the other hand, when you see his advanced experience and say how much better your husband is with a smart and successful person, it shows that he underestimates you. He can hurt you, which is the obvious reason why you hate this person.
If your mother-in-law doesn’t consider your feelings, you may hate her. But hate is a powerful emotion that can get you into trouble. You may also think that your mother-in-law doesn’t like you. Regardless, here are some ways that can help you connect with him.
Ways To Deal With Difficult In Laws
Imagine yourself in his place and see how you would feel if your child confessed to you about his love for someone else. Maybe your mother-in-law wouldn’t want her son to love her any less. So they try to be better than you.
You can choose to reply or respond to his comments. If you stop responding to his comments and give him time, he may adjust, say nothing, or try to treat you better. When you stop creating drama, he notices you.
When a father-in-law perceives you as a threat to his relationship with his son or daughter, he may try to restore his position by interfering in your family affairs. You have to think about how they are trying to take over your family. Before giving permission or a drastic solution, talk to your partner and ask them what the best way out of this situation is.
Create and set the necessary boundaries to protect you and your family. Your mother-in-law can give her suggestions – consider them and choose the best option. Sometimes he can be right. And if you agree with his ideas, he could be happy and it could lead to a new relationship. But remember, you shouldn’t take someone’s advice if you don’t agree with what they like about you, it’s a sign of a bad relationship.
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To keep peace in the family, pay attention to small words. Try to ignore his cold demeanor if you feel he is apologizing. Don’t miss it though. Talk to him and let him know if you have a problem with something – it’s better than a misunderstanding.
Just like your love affair with your mother-in-law. Maybe that’s all
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